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There must be some kind of a "flirting culture" or "dating culture" in Germany, too. Also, are there any specific german phrases or words I should know to impress her? Germans, however, tend to consider respect to be the proper way to show politeness, and respect assumes that the other person wants an honest answer, not some pretty little white lie. I guess (!) that's for a very simple reason: it's much easier to get accused of "sexual harrassment" in the US than in Germany, so the "rules" better be explicit in the US to protect all parties involved. Wikipedia: Flirting - Cultural Aspects ) about behavioral differences aka misunderstandings between American soldiers and British women around wwii. which the boys learn to respect, and for the rest to rely upon the men to approach or advance, as warranted by the situation." This resulted, for example, in British women interpreting an American soldier's gregariousness as something more intimate or serious than he had . But if hes as young as in his 20s, thats highly unlikely. Germans and Americans have a few different standards regarding what constitutes politeness. For "slow down "carry on" etc. My friend has an exchange student from Germany who just arrived, who I'd like to ask out on a date pretty soon; we're both juniors in high school.
You might not like the answer that he gives. (hint: by making defining the environment part of the flirt - if you flirt and date beyond cultural boundaries, you both have to, anyways, unless you want to repeat your own variant of the situations reported on by Mead and Watzlawick). From my own (German) experience, flirting and dating has a lot to do with sustaining the ambiguity of the situation, to keep the possibility balanced with distance. Germans also often react negatively to the shallow, superficial quality of casual friendships/acquaintanceships in the.S., and so he might react negatively towards you if you engage in much light conversation. Direct questions rarely offend Germans (assuming the question isnt too personal and theyre typically more than willing to give straightforward answers. Lets listen again to Lynne, the expert in human relations in general and in relations with a German man in particular. The Mead / Watzlawick report above also suggests to me that, while "the US dating rules" are relatively explicit (at least now, 50 years later what really happens and decides about success or failure is much more subtle, both in the US and here, presumably. If you feel unsure what his attitude might be about such things, feel free to ask him!
Likewise, dont ever say anything to him just to be nice if you dont really mean it; he is too likely to take you quite literally at your word and then be terribly hurt later when he finds out that you didnt really mean. (though different from what you seem to expect). How Real Is Real? So, if youre really wanting your ego stroked, dont ask him, So, how dyou like my new dress? Here are her practical recommendations and advice for American women dating German men (can be vice-versa: for American men dating German women For the most part, you dont need to worry particularly about any major differences, mostly because gender roles here arent significantly different from. He Paul Watzlawick wrote that courtship in both cultures used approximately 30 steps from "first eye contact to the ultimate consummation but that the sequence of the steps was different. I was wondering, is dating seen or done differently in Germany than here?
Or, if hes the real old-fashioned type, like some American men are, he might have the perverse response of thinking that his manhoods been insulted. For example, if youre the old-fashioned type, hes quite unlikely to complain if you expect him to pay for most of the dates; hell probably half-expect. Furthermore, in my understanding of the word "culture this example demonstrates that wherever people flirt successfully, there is a sequence of expectations at play - but the sequence depends on culture. I'm absolutely sure there are patterns in the whole thing, signals.g. For example, kissing might be an early step in the American pattern but a relatively intimate act in the English pattern. Whether we really care how they are or not, etc. As Germans flirt successfully every once in a while. Americans tend to define politeness in terms of friendliness: smiling, telling white lies to avoid hurting peoples feelings, pretending to like people even if we dont, saying Hi, how are you? It's just far less explicit, less conceptual than in the.
Related article: Dating Germans: Exercising Your Sense of Humor). However, I don't know these patterns explicitly, and I have to admit I've been wrong about them more than once :-/ (then again, who wasn't.). For the most part, you can treat him pretty much like you would almost any American man. Americans have an international reputation for being extremely ignorant about the rest of the world. If youre looking for good topics for conversation, try: politics, current events, philosophy, or any subject hes studying in school.
But if you happen to be a supporter of womens rights (and the responsibilities that go along with that feel free to pay for the dates sometimes or half the time. It seems to me that explicit rules get in the way of sustaining the ambiguity, but I can imagine this "freestyle" approach can appear overwhelming: how to flirt in an "undefined" environment? Or I'll make a guess about what you really want to know. However for most people whose sweetheart is German, a foreigner, there are plenty of cultural nuances and minor difficulties resulting sometimes in an alienation. Any advice can hardly be appropriate here. From the mentioned Wikipedia article: She Anthropologist Margaret Mead wrote of the Americans, "The boy learns to make advances and rely upon the girl to repulse them whenever they are inappropriate to the state of feeling between the pair as contrasted to the British, where . Germans, however, usually are not. According to Lynne., an American living in Germany, if theres any genuine connection between two people, itll survive whatever differences may arise in the early stages of dating, and if those differences seem too overwhelming and/or the relationship doesnt survive for other reasons, trying. So feel free to follow your normal instincts in this regard.
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Sex sachsen anhalt mixed wrestling germanyAnd where German and American cultures are concerned, the potential for culturally-based misunderstandings is relatively negligible, so if two people arent open-minded enough to try to work through such insignificant differences, the relationship doesnt stand a snowflakes sexualität im alter der frau grenchen chance in hell of surviving anyway. Possibility is important to keep the situation attractive, distance is important to enable a dignified retreat (ideally, no face loss on either side) if things turn out. Such patterns, together with the people who use and agree on the same patterns, to me make up a "culture". Dating in itself is a very personal and sophisticated matter. " (end of 6) or at @. Dont try to make too much chit chat or small talk with him.